[BLOG POST 11/09/24] Today I want to share another Northern Exposure lesson, this one is about personal demons. In the TV show Ed's personal demon is Low Self Esteem and is personified by a small green man. In the season 5 episode, "Grand Prix" Ed helps a wheelchair athlete whose personal demon is External Validation who is personified by an overly successful man who shows off a ridiculous amount of trophies.
Because it is Northern Exposure, a show which embraced alternate realities, the way Ed helps is by following his personal demon to find the other personal demon and physically fights that demon for hours. Eventually he admits defeat and tells the athlete he's helping that she has to fight it herself.
This episode hit home for me because I too struggle with the personal demon of External Validation, especially when it comes to my art. There is a significant part of me that paints because I want to paint - to create. But there is another significant part of me that wants my paintings to be seen and appreciated by others.
Whereas wanting to share my art isn't bad, toxic, or unhealthy, it can be when I focus too much on getting into shows, selling artwork, or receiving recognition.
And lately I've been getting too wrapped up in those external validations. Over the past year I've submitted artwork for 8 different online shows and was selected only for 3. Having artwork not selected is part of the art life, and developing thick skin is a necessary tool, but my demon of External Validation is not happy.
Recently I had an experience that is challenging me to rethink why I put so much weight on External Validation. Here's what happened:
After working behind the scenes for the New Mexico State Committee of the National Museum of Women in the Arts inaugural in-person art show and seeing how the jurors decide who is / is not in the show, I understand that artwork being selected is literally the luck of the draw. It all depends on the juror's personal tastes, how much time they have to look at the submissions (usually it's not much), what kind of show they want to put on, and how they are feeling when they see the artwork.
Dear reader my realization is that looking for External Validation is a fools errand. Or to put it in sailing terms, it's chasing the wind. Basically a waste of time, energy, and resources.
So I'm giving myself permission to change my focus and not be so concerned with entering shows, studying what artwork sells in galleries or in shows, and ruminating on what I should do with my art. Instead I'm going to do what is rewarding in my personal life, paint what is meaningful to me, and share my art when it makes sense to do so and, most importantly, when it's FUN.
I'm still thinking through what this will look like in my art life and I don't have answers yet but I think changes are coming. Changes ranging from how often I write blog posts to what I put in my newsletter and to what I paint.
No more chasing External Validation! I intend to embrace pleasure and fun.
After all, life is short and I want to enjoy mine. ❤️
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